Lavender's Dungeon

I stare at the ceiling

wax dripping

from my lips

staring at silver flecks

stars dancing

silence

—

Omaha

I say

to keep away

from me or her

probably both

I have the shakes

—

Bones rattling

telling me there’s a change

A cold front

seeping in with every breath

hollow lungs

swallowing tears

—

“I don’t want to leave you”

Annunciating every word

Like lead hitting stone

I

don’t

want

to

leave

you

Inviting me to beg you

to stay

I know you want to hear the words

—

“Can I hold you?”

You always ask

As if I had the strength

to resist you

and I wonder how long

you held her

before you let go

—

“Talk to me”

What can I say?

You came into my life on Saturday

Turned my world over

and over

a stone in your pocket

buffing out rough edges

breaking me down piece by piece

—

But we only just began

and now you have to run and hide

from demons within

and ones that come in the form

of dark twisted women

—

“Wait for me?”

I flinch

“I know”

you say

“Long distance

is no friend to you”

—

“Look at me”

I can’t

I’m scared to let you in

to become bewitched once again

by hazel eyes

—

So as we stare at

the stars

I catch you looking at me

yet I sit silent

eyes blurry with tears

slowly rebuilding the walls of my heart

—

Lav

12/16/2020